Elevator

While popping out of my office this morning to grab a muffin, I found myself in an elevator all alone. As I stood waiting for the doors to close I began to hear two of my colleagues heading towards the bank of elevators to catch a ride downstairs to fill the coffee void. To ensure they were able to ride with me, I leaned forward and pushed the "To Close" button, though I intended to push the "To Open" button. With a quick flick of the wrist I rectified the situation, and the doors drew open and the others joined me inside. They thanked me for saving the elevator for them and we continued to chat about elevator etiquette down the twelve stories.

In thinking of today's post, I was stuck on the idea of elevator etiquette. In doing a little digging on the subject, I came across these pieces of advice from Elevator Rules. I've rewritten them but the premise is the same.

1. If you're going up or down one floor, take the stairs. Exercise is good. We all (me included) need a lot more of it. Now of course with lots of bags or a child or the like you might ignore this rule, but the frat boys who live on the third floor of my building shouldn't be taking the elevator down to the second floor to catch a workout at the gym.

2. Do not repress the call button if someone has already pushed it. This indicates that you don't trust their pushing abilities. Obviously this is insulting.

3. Do not call the elevator if you arrive as the door is closing. Those people do not want to wait for you to push on before heading to their destination. They are ready to go and you're late. This is like holding up a plane by being late to the gate. Everyone knows why they're late and they blame you. This isn't a good position to be in. You should wait for another elevator to come along.

4. You may ask someone to push the call button for you if (a) they're close to it and (b) your hands are full.

5. If you're bringing a large new flat screen tv to your apartment, or other similarly large package, wait for an empty elevator. People will offer to squeeze you in, but they're only being polite and likely don't mean it. Also, they're jealous that they're squat and you have a new tv while they're stuck with a friend's hand me down. This isn't a good way to introduce yourself to your neighbours. Trust me, I've been there.

6. Stand away from the door when people are boarding. People like space and may not want to be sandwiched into your chest as much as you'd like them to be sandwiched into your chest.

7. Always check if the elevator is going up or down before boarding and only board if it is going in the direction you seek. This is purely to avoid embarrassment.

8. If an elevator is crowded and you're not given a verbal invitation by a passenger to step on, don't. See the comment about being sandwiched above at 6.

Greg and his brother, Chris, in an elevator taking a photo. This is acceptable only if you're the only patrons on board.

9. Ladies should board elevators before men. Ladies should exit the elevator before men. This rule applies to most areas of life.

10. Avoiding holding the elevator for people unless you're the only one in it and it is a low traffic time. This is a case of having one person happy with you versus ten people upset with you. There are extenuating circumstances where this rule shouldn't be followed. Use your judgement, you can figure it out.

11. Do not press the "close" button if you hear someone coming, this is unacceptable behaviour. This is rude. Though I know sometimes you just want to ride alone or avoid a conversation with someone you've been avoiding who just so happens to be bolting from work at the same moment you are.

12. Stand as close to the wall as possible. If you're getting off at the top of the building, move to the back, if you're only riding up a couple of floors, stand closer to the front. This again is the issue of sandwiching.

13. Avoid talking in elevators, simple pleasantries are all that is required, and conversations with friends should be paused while in the elevator and resumed following exit. People might want to overhear you or they might not. Maybe they have a head ache or had a bad day. Don't assume you're as fascinating as your mother thinks.

14. If you are ill, and contagious, ride in elevators alone. People won't want to push the buttons or stand next to you. You can avoid this by taking a sick day or waiting for an empty elevator.

15. Offer to press floor buttons for patrons if you're standing close to the panel. This is polite. It makes people like you. This is good.

16. If the elevator is crowded, announce that you're floor is coming up so that people can move to the side. People do not want to be pushed, so, you know, avoid doing that.