How to: Help Your Breastfed, Co-Sleeping Baby Sleep Better

Earlier today, I shared this story on the Facebook page of a breastfeeding support group I participate in, and I've received positive feedback so I thought it might be useful to post on my blog  My hope is that other families who co-sleep, nurse to sleep and experience frequent night wakings that are soothed back to sleep only by nursing can gently encourage their little ones to sleep longer. I'm not a medical, sleep or lactation professional - this is simply what has worked for us and I'm sharing it in hopes that it might work for you too.

  

Given others here have been very helpful in giving me advice on breastfeeding related concerns, I thought I should share how sleeping is going at our house (two wakings last night in ten hours and a similar stretch of nights last week before the onset of the nine month growth spurt) in the event that some of the the things that worked for us might work for some of you too in similar situations (baby waking every two hours or much less looking for a nipple to soothe back to sleep).

Our son sleep regressed from waking once a night at 2:30 am to waking every 30 minutes or less at four months. Slowly he's gotten better (every 45 minutes, every hour, every hour and a half, every two hours and now every three or more hours).

I searched online everywhere, but couldn't find clear advice on how to help a breasfed baby who nurses to sleep and who co-sleeps to sleep better while continuing to nurse to sleep for bed in the first instance and co-sleep. So I spent a lot of time observing him sleep and watching what happened when he woke up. It was clear that he would always stir and move at the end of his sleep cycle, which is the only time he would wake up. So I knew if we wanted him to sleep longer than that, he'd need to be able to stir and then go back to sleep without a nipple in his mouth.

Here's what we did to gently guide him to sleep better:

1. I have always offered the breast upon waking, so I continued to do so because this is his routine. However, I started by unlatching him during the most difficult waking of the night for me (normally the one between 11 pm and midnight) after his sucking had slowed and his eyes were closed. I would always hold him close (which he likes) and say "shhhhh" as I did this. Sometimes he would cry for a few seconds and then go to sleep, other times he seemed to already be asleep and other times he would cry so much I'd need to relatch him. If I relatched him, I let him suck until he fell off the breast. I think this helped him be able to sleep since he was drowsy but not fully asleep and gained confidence in his ability to fall asleep on his own.

2. My husband would take a shift at night during one or more of the wakings most nights. He'd walk, pick him up, sing etc. (whatever he had to do) to get our guy back to sleep. If he wasn't asleep within 30 minutes or he didn't stop crying, I stepped in and nursed him back to sleep. But he most definitely learned through this process that he could fall asleep with Dad. This was helpful since he now often rolls over to Dad for a back rub (see how we started to include this in the night routine below) at night when he wakes or stirs.

3. I combined nursing at night with a gentle head rub (which I found calming for both of us) or back rub. This way the gentle head rub or back rub became part of the falling back to sleep routine, and we could then (many times) use this to put him back to sleep without needing to nurse. We did the same thing with lullabies, so they became a way to put him to sleep as well.

4. I always fed him if it had been three hours or more since his last feeding (the typical amount of time he goes between feeding during the day). I also saw he slept longer when I nursed him on both sides. So I started to unlatch, roll him over my chest and relatch him on the other side after about 15 minutes. The rolling across the body woke him just enough for him to feed a little more. This has helped avoid frequent wakings due to hunger.

As we more frequently put him back to sleep with a little back rub or song, we saw he was sleeping longer. I think this is because those activities required a greater ability on his part to fall asleep on his own. Last night, I watched him for more than three hours. He sat up a number of times, rolled over etc. but each time he went right back into a deep sleep without calling for me. It was amazing. In January I never thought we'd get there. I hope some of these tips help.

Apartment

I haven't posted about home decor in such a long time (I've kind of missed it!). With all baby related decor squared away, I'm back to thinking about the other 90% of our house. I love this apartment, which just won a contest for small spaces on Apartment Therapy. 

Maternity Leave Bucket List

 

As of today, I have 118 days of maternity leave left, which seems like a lot and a little at the same time. In thinking about the (hopefully!) beautiful summer ahead of us, here's a list of everything I want to do before returning to the office to make sure I make the most of every moment with Thomas. 

• Spend hours each day cuddling, reading books and singing silly songs
• Go outside every day, even if it's just for 15 minutes under our covered deck to watch rain clouds
• Meet up with Greg at one of our many neighbourhood parks for a swing ride after work
• Walk each of the trails in the Grand Concourse system
• Visit Lester's Farm Petting Zoo
• Enjoy lots of picnic and park playdates at Pippy Park, Bowring Park and Bannerman Park
• Walk the trail at Salmonier Nature Park
• Enjoy a bedtime story time at Marjorie Mews Library
• Visit Topsail and Middle Cove Beaches
• Have lunch at Lighthouse Picnics
• Visit the MUN Botanical Gardens 

 Any other suggestions? xo 

Style: Quantity vs. Quality

I remember once reading an article in a fashion magazine where the author stated that she now felt she was too mature and successful to shop at The Gap. As a student at the time, shopping at The Gap seemed like a splurge and I couldn't imagine feeling like that sportswear was too common to wear and though my modest budget's grown, I still can't relate to that magazine comment. Today, I count The Gap (alongside shops like Club Monaco, J Crew and French Connection) as my most commonly frequented and favourite shops (thank goodness for online shopping!). I'm also a fan of consignment shops, like Model Citizens (where I recently bought a beautiful Reiss silk blouse, which was very exciting for a Kate Middleton fan like me). 

But, the reality is that really special items (particularly uniquely patterned full a line skirts - my work staple) are hard to find at mainstream retailers. So I'm left browsing Bluefly and Nordstrom for the skirts of my favourite designers - Marc by Marc Jacobs, kate spade new york, Tory Burch, Nanette Lepore and Diane Von Furstenberg - and feeling the pinch (or torture as Greg says) of  deciding whether one really special skirt or dress per season is preferable to a few more affordable pieces. Already owning a sizeable work wardrobe, I'm leaning towards making only one really special purchase.  Early on, building a wardrobe was important (I recall one massive Jacob shopping spree when I finished my graduate degree), but now that I have plenty of suits, sports jackets, dresses and skirts (I'm anti-pants at the office, owning only one pair of wool pants for the depths of winter),  this approach might make more sense. Who are your favourite ready to wear designers? How do you approach building and maintaining a work wardrobe? Above is one of the skirts I'm adoring these days from marc by marc jacobs.

NoseFrida

There are certain products that you never even think of needing, that is, until you become a parent. Thomas has never been a good sleeper, but now teething his front teeth, we went from manageable frequent waking to uncontrollable wheezing, coughing and crying all night long. Enter our solution -  the NoseFrida Snot Sucker. This thing is a miracle worker. Seriously.  After sucking all the gunk out of Tom's nose before bed, he slept beautifully. It's my new must have for all parents. Owning one makes the many colds in our future seem so much more bearable. Boy are the Swedish brilliant!

Raising a Foodie: At 7 and 8 Months

I am very pleased to note that Thomas now (often) eats three meals a day. I wasn't sure this would ever happen a few weeks ago.

In mid-March, Thomas caught a lingering cold and he entirely lost his appetite. Literally the boy refused food, aside from a few (very small) mid-afternoon meals, for weeks. We continued to offer fruit, vegetables and meat two or three times a day and celebrated every time he accepted a bite. I tried baby led weaning too, in case he was expressing a preference to feed himself instead, but nothing seemed to work. I kept reminding myself that when I'm sick I rarely want to eat, so this was likely what was going on with our little man. I kept sane knowing that he was getting plenty of breast milk and was continuing to gain weight.

However, after all signs of illness subsided, it occurred to me that Thomas might also be overfed. He does after all nurse all night long (literally! I've woken up at night and he's already been latched!). After confiding in a few other moms, one with a similar baby (a frequent night feeder) shared that her nutritionist recommended she nurse only to sleep for naps and bed, and then (at eight months, which is the age Thomas is now) offer food and water throughout the day. I tried it, and all of a sudden Thomas started eating! Before that we'd been nursing every three hours, which is what's generally recommended, but for babies who nurse at night might be too much if establishing solids is a priority for the family. For those super curious, this means I nurse Tom to sleep for a nap at 8:30/9:00 am, again for a midday nap, and then late afternoon before supper (around when he often takes a mini nap when we're out in the car/stroller/carrier). He then cluster feeds for an hour or so before dozing off for the night (which happens anywhere from 5:30 pm to 8:30 pm, depending on how long his late afternoon nap lasted).

Having Tom eat three meals a day was very relieving. But the quantity of food he was consuming at these 'meals' remained slight.

But we've found a (hopefully temporary) solution to that too!

Oh a whim, I bought a Baby Gourmet pouch (I had never (well aside from a few jars of pureed chicken) given my baby jar food before), and he loved it. When offered Baby Gourmet, Thomas went from passively accepting a few bites to literally standing in his high chair and jumping up with his mouth open to accept the food. It turns out Thomas thinks mama is a bad cook (I really didn't think you could mess up purees that bad!). I still have a freezer full of organic, homemade purees that I hope to move back to, but for now we're munching on pre-made organic purees.

To wash down those meals, and when outside on a warm day, we offer Thomas water from a regular cup. He loves it so much that he reaches for everyone's water glass when they're having a sip. He can't get enough. This is a habit that I'm so happy to encourage! 

Horizontal Stripes Guide to: Strollers

Since becoming pregnant with Thomas, starting to focus on more 'mommy-styled blogging', and seeing many of my friends also become pregnant, the most common question they've asked (at least with regard to 'baby gear') has been 'which stroller should I buy?'. After tailoring my advice to each friend, and discovering for myself what works for our family, I thought this might make a good topic for a blog post.

We have three strollers. Yes, you read that correctly -- three. And yes, we have one baby. So, you might want to keep in mind that I'm not someone who has found one stroller that works for everything. I also prefer to purchase strollers that have a decent resale value, because I want my stroller to have a life after I use it so that it doesn't end up at a landfill after a few years use. So, my recommendations tend to be mid-priced strollers (most very high end strollers aren't locally available and therefore my city's second-hand market doesn't seem to place the same value on them that people in larger cities might). If you're like me, you might want to take a look on Kijiji or the like before buying to see what different brands are selling for in your area.

So, which stroller should you buy?

If you love taking walks in the city while baby naps, you'll want a stroller with a bassinet.

My personal bias for preferring that baby sleep in a bassinet rather than a car seat saw me seeking out a stroller with clip in bassinet (which we actually used as Thomas' bassinet in our bedroom for the first three months) as our main full-sized stroller. We went with a fun Quinny Buzz that combines plastic and air-filed tires (and provides the option to switch out the front plastic wheel for a pair of air-filed ones). Other strollers with similar functionality include the Bugaboo Cameleon, UPPAbaby Vista, Stokke Xplory, iCandy Apple, Mamas and Papas Mylo, Bumbleride Queen B and Microlite Toro. Quinny and Bumbleride strollers pictured above. These are catch all strollers, and tend to have better resale values than similar 'travel systems' (Graco and Evenflo, for example, strollers that come complete with a clip in car seat from big box stores).

If you want to use the same stroller seat from newborn to toddler, you'll want a stroller whose seat can lay completely flat.

There's something appealing about having one seat, which has the ability to lay completely flat so that it can be used from birth and up. The bonus here is that there are no extra components to store or adapters to fiddle with. The leaders in this category are the Mamas and Papas Sola and the UPPAbaby Cruz (both pictured above).

If running is part of you're daily routine, you'll want a jogging stroller.

We also bought a used jogging stroller for occasional use on some trails around our neighbourhood for about $40 (it's a Co-Pilot). BOB and Phil and Ted's (both pictured above) are the leaders in this pack (at least in St. John's), so I'd recommend starting there first when you're looking to buy. I have close friends with both types. If you plan to use your stroller while also walking your dog, this is the sort of stroller I recommend. BOB and Phil and Ted's also sell double strollers.

If you're a jet-settler, you'll need a compact umbrella stroller.

Baby's comfort is most important to me, so I suggest staying clear of the too flimsy umbrella varieties if your little one is less than two. We have a Maxi Cosi Mila, but I also love the Maclaren Triumph and the Quinny Zapp Xtra. If you plan on flying with your baby, or want a stroller to keep in your car all the time, I recommend one of these. I love the Maxi Cosi and Quinny varieties best because they also allow you to clip in your Maxi Cosi car seat, which is super convenient if you're travelling with a small baby. Maxi Cosi and Quinny strollers pictured above.

If you plan on having a second child, you might want a stroller that converts to a double.

Similar in styling to the bassinet options above, a stroller that expands to accommodate two might be the best choice if you plan to have a second child or if you have twins. This is a small but growing category of strollers. My personal favourite is the Bugaboo Donkey, but the Mountain Buggy Duet and Baby Jogger City Select are also beautiful and functional. Bugaboo and Baby Jogger strollers pictured above.

Chances are you might need one or two of these (likely a larger stroller and a compact stroller). What strollers do you use and love? I'm so curious!